Self Respect Infusion (3)

So how do you create self love and self respect if you are currently live without it? You may be surprised to discover that the more you do for yourself the more self respect you will begin to feel, and the healthier and happier choices you will make for you. Creating respect for yourself and greater happiness in your life can just be a matter of making some practical changes to how you live. When you begin to live with you as a priority, you start to feel it, and believe it – then you are on the slippery slope to self love and respect.

Here is a Self Respect Infusion you can try for a week, and see how life improves for you.
Step 1. Avoid anyone who is generally negative, or puts you down for the whole week. If you have friends or work mates like that, avoid them or be too busy to see them for the week. If you live with someone like that, spend as little time in their company as you can. Just make excuses, its only a week. When you have spent some time without having to ward of negativity, or protect yourself from another's put downs, you will feel refreshed. A break from these type of people will help you to get some space, and recognise how much nicer and easier life can be. ( If you like this feeling, you can down grade some friendships and pick up some new ones that are more pleasant and positive. Or you can initiate some changes in a relationship that is bringing you down.)

Step 2. What do you really enjoy doing? Put a note in your diary to do this pleasant thing everyday for the week. Make sure you do it – make it a priority. Get up early to do it, if you have to, or leave the vacuuming. Spending more time on something you really enjoy will inevitably make life more pleasant. When you spend some time making your happiness a priority it will start to have a positive effect on you, and you will begin to feel you have a right to a little something nice for you. (If you like how this feels, begin a new habit of making the time to do something that makes you happy everyday. See an earlier post for tips on success building new habits.)

Step 3. What are the most important things in your life? List the top two. Now put a note in your diary to work on them each day for the next week. If it is family for you, set time aside to be together, or do something together. If a group, a pet, or keeping fit, church, put something in your diary to spend time building on that priority. Spending the week focusing on the people, relationships, or areas that are most important to you will bring the benefit of strengthening your connection, and commitment to these things. It helps to give you direction, and focus on the things you identify yourself with. (If you like how this feels, as above, make a new habit to regularly engage and strengthen the bond with those important things in your life. Also, the Open Eyed Meditation directs some attention to this area of your life, which helps you to keep those important things in mind through your day, positively effecting the choices you make.)
If you feel that you don't have time to do these things for yourself, here's a list of ideas that can buy you some time: (and when you choose to make that time, you reinforce your commitment to yourself, helping to build self respect.)
Get up early.
Don't clean the house for the week.
Don't go to the gym.
Don't switch on the TV (at all, or until later)
Check you email just once a day, and
Limit phone calls, and the time spent talking.
It is just one week after all, and the Self Respect Infusion just might be a turning point for you and how you see yourself. Who knows where it could lead.
Make a comment, and let me know how it feels after giving yourself a one week Self Respect Infusion.

Life with Self Respect (2)

In my last post I identified some life patterns that are not in our best interests, and that are signs of a lack of self respect and self value. Now I want to look at what behaviors a person with respect for themselves looks like, so we can have an idea of where we want to go, which will give us a guide for change. Becoming aware is the first step in creating change. So - What does a life look like when a person respect themselves and value themselves?
People who do respect themselves will:
1.have positive, supportive people around them
2.spend a lot of time doing things they enjoy and brings them happiness.

3.do few things they 'ought', 'should', 'have' to do
4.accept the things life throws at them, and make the most of it, somehow always landing on their feet
5.find positive solutions when dealing with lifes challenges
6.will not have priorities in their lives and rarely spend time on the important aspects of their lives, letting them fall apart
7.find ways to grow and develop
8.always know their priorities and put them first
If this sounds like other people and not you, do not be disheartened. The above is just a matter of choice, and you can choose it from this moment forward. By simply living as though you have self respect, you will learn to have it in reality. In a later post I want to suggest some practical ways to gain self respect.
Meditation is a great place to start change the way you feel about yourself. Open Eyed Meditation is a really easy way to learn meditation and helps to inspire inner strength.
If you are a single mother, you may want to look at The Spiritual Journey for Single Mothers. A great package filled with ways to drop negativity from life and become positive and happy

Life without Self Respect (1)

Sometimes we have life patterns that are not in our best interests, and I thought it might be useful to identify some of those types of patterns. In recognising some in our own behavior, we can make a plan for change, and build happier more stable lives. Becoming aware is the first step in creating change. So - What does a life look like when a person does not respect themselves or value themselves? People who do not respect themselves will:
1.have people arount them who are negative or bring them down, and make them feel bad about themselves
2.spend more time doing things they don't like, than they do
3.be driven by things they 'ought', 'should', 'have' to do
4.resist the things life throws at them, feeling how unfair life is
5.worry, stress and feel like victems when dealing with lifes challenges
6.will not have priorities in their lives and rarely spend time on the important aspects of their lives, letting them fall apart
7.continually put themselves in situations that hurt them
8.go over and over bad things that have happened to them in their minds
If you are able to see yourself in some of these points, you may want to make some changes so you can become happier, more centred, and calmer. In later posts I want to suggest some practical ways to address these behaviors. However, in my next post I want to discuss what the alternative looks like.
Meditation is a great place to start change the way you feel about yourself. Open Eyed Meditation is a really easy way to learn meditation and helps to inspire inner strength.

Looking In

It's another woman, alone again after another disappointing relationship outcome. Her children and she will be on there own again until the cycle starts over. In an age of self help books and radio and television shows, it is surprising how many are still in trouble. The answers are there for the searcher. Yet if we are not caring enough about ourselves and giving ourselves value, what is there to motivates us to seek these answers? The value can't come from others or things. It is such a cliche, but the only place to gain value is from within us - the rest is shaky ground, inconstant. But what is the motivation to begin to give yourself credit, and value? Well, I guess some never find that motivation. I found it in my children, but now the happiness and steadiness of my life is the reward and incentive for valuing myself.

Meditation is one way to make a start on honouring yourself, and to raise self esteem. Check out Open Eyed Meditation for an easy way to start meditation.
And if you are a single mother, you could have a look at the Spiritual Journey for Single Mothers. Packed with ways to eliminate negativity, and find happiness on your journey.