Moving On

Well. This has been a long time coming, I know! But it doesn't mean I haven't been doing anything.
I have been starting a new, bigger, brighter blog here at
How to Happiness. This is a sight about practical ways to gain more happiness.
Although I am very involved with my spiritual development, what I know is how to clear negative and unnecessary emotional baggage. I have done so much of it myself, and have an empathy and understanding for those caught up with life dramas and negative thought patterns, because I have been there. But having cleared a lot away, I have now come to a place where spirituality actually has some room to grow. It is creating that room/space that I want to pass on. So, that is where I am now.
Except when I am working on my spirituality! I am meditating twice a day now, and I am very lucky and blessed to have little enlightened moments regularly. Just this morning I felt myself to be a small shining light out in the universe, part of the Supreme Consciousness - or whatever!
I should probably get back here to share my spiritual moments, they are fun and exciting, and I am always looking to share (in fact, it is one of the things that holds me back from great meditation - always trying to work out how I can explain it to someone else!) But right now, time is short, and I have a lot of emotional baggage clearing to share!
Buy for now. Paula

Communication Frustration!

What frustration is this??!!

Trying to communicate with others in another room of the house. Calling out, "I can't hear you", "what?" and other obvious and irritating time wasting statements.

A friend (Bree) made a rule - "I am not going to answer you if there is a wall between us."

I am making that rule now (and I'm going to try to keep it!) and see if I can limit the irritation and frustration of the whole house conversation.

Head Space

When you hear Eckhart Tolle speak, or read his words, you often hear him say that if his words are not resonating with you, or are meaningless to you, then you may yet to have had your first glimpse of consciousness without thought. This first moment of consciousness is an act of grace, and can happen to anyone, in any circumstances, at anytime. You can't DO anything to bring it about.
But, for so many, living a life of unhappiness, emptiness, hurt, dissatisfaction - ordinary, common lives - how can a thoughtless moment squeeze in. These are heads full of history, hurts, problems and a constant stream of wanting, needing, hoping, wishing, looking to the future with desire. There is no space for an act of grace. And I should know, and perhaps you do too, for I have been there.

I don't remember any particular act of grace, but I have had some beautiful moments of peace, and a glimpse of God since. Sometimes I feel a flash of connection with trees, or the waves of the sea, and in general life is a lot more peaceful and quiet inside and out.

My act of grace, and the choice to pursue it thereafter, I don't believe, was possible without the clearing work I did beforehand. I didn't know what I was clearing for. I only looked toward a happier existence, and to be able to teach my children a better way of living than bitterness, anger, and dissatisfaction.

So, can we expect a great wave of spiritual enlightenment for a larger population without spending some energy on some clearing? Clear away some personal history - accept, forgive and let go. Learn to be grateful for how we live, and not always be looking for more. Clear a space in which we can love ourselves a little more, give ourselves value. THEN there may be a little space for meditation, to sit quietly, to listen to a beautiful piece of music, and to give grace an opportunity.

I think the role of those who help others to clear mental and emotional space are just as important as Eckhart Tolle, and other spiritual leaders, in helping great numbers of souls to a more spiritual existence.

Mind mapping-Get your Head around it

I was recently reminded of the process called Mind Mapping. I had done one or two mind maps in the past, specifically related to my business, but not since. It was pointed out that the mind map can be used for all sorts of problems, situations and dilemmas, not just business.
The mind map is an alternative to the list, and allows a greater free flow of ideas without classifying them in any good or bad groups.

How it works is: take a piece of paper, and in the middle of the page you put your situation (eg. Wedding, divorce, kids education, hate my job, holiday, writing a book), with a little cloud drawn around it. From there you put down all the thoughts that come to you about your topic. Some will be about the practical implications, and some may be about the emotional, people effected, possible problems. You will find that they take on a certain order, as your thoughts run in a line, which link ideas together, or in a different area.

The mind map allows you to release a jumble of ideas, and see them before you. You should be able to see a trend, what areas of the situation are most pressing, or help you to set a plan of action. It is very cathartic, and totally helpful.
Having just been reminded about the mind map, my ex husband had an accident. The implications were a bit scary. Also my son quickly accused me of not caring, as he looked to me to discover how to respond to the news, how to feel. I really wasn't sure how I felt. So I did a mind map of the situation. Wow. I had nearly fifty entries of possible outcomes, effects, fears, worries and sympathy. It really helped to see how much there was to be concerned over, and I felt justified in feeling a bit frightened. I also could tell my son exactly what I felt, having got my head around it, and was able to help him with his feelings, too, since he didn't have the benefit of the mind map!

There wasn't anything too positive I had written on the
page, which is unusual for me. But after 45 entries I suddenly realised something reassuring. We would be alright, whatever happened, or how things changed, we would work it out. And that is what I told my son.

Dinner Challenge

I knew there would be a drama tonight – I had cooked something new! My 7 year old raged, hated and spat. Because I had an idea this was coming, and because I had had a lovely, quiet day to myself, and had decided to have a glass of wine, I was not disturbed by the school child tantrum. As he raged and rolled and cried, I was cool and uneffected. And afterwards, when it was eaten and hunger was sated, there was smiles and laughter from the angry young man. “Yes, I want to go for a ride, too.”.And I thought as we all peddled to our favorite face painted tree, and over the bumps in the ground my daughter enjoys challenging her bike with, how much better when I did not engage in the children's temper. How quickly it was over. How much less anger in our world
Although I do it regularly – meet the kids anger and rage with my own anger - I know it is ridiculous. Children have less control of their emotions, and I am supposed to be the adult, who is expected to deal with her emotions – and teach her children to deal with theirs! Tonight I got it right, but mostly I fail, which feeds my guilt.
I will never believe that there is a greater challenge in life than being a parent. And nothing more rewarding than when I get it right. (Which happily happens too).

The Garage Speaks.

It's a two car garage, but has only one small green car in the centre. That's not to say it is empty – it is not. All around the edges of the room is our stuff, and although it is dark I can see the orderly piles. Nothing is moving in here but me, and an ant that scurries around in manic circles at my feet.
There is a dense physical silence, and yet in every direction I turn my gaze, things speak to me. The camping gear, in piles of kharki, call out to remember the mellet for the weekend camping trip. The large, sagging blow up water toy begs to be let down and stowed away. Any number of sad pieces of furniture bleat their need for a new home, and a dusty black hunk of machinery wonders if I will ever get fit again.
I find the keys, get in the car and happily select reverse. I press a button and the door slides down and cuts the garage off – mid sentence!
If you have jobs that are hounding you, either sell it, give it away, throw it away, clean it, stow it, pack it. The negative energy that is triggered for you everytime you think of that chore is toxic. See an earlier post for taking the chore out of chores.

Take the chore out of chores.

Find motivation for all those little jobs you hate to do. Time yourself when next you do the job and note the time in the back of your diary. Often as we avoid those chores that no one enjoys, the mind will exaggerate the length of time and energy it will take to complete. When we know exactly how long the job takes, this tactic no longer works, and resistance is reduced.
Now you have a better idea of just how little time your job takes to do, you will no longer need to put off doing it. If you find yourself avoiding that job again – check your diary. It only takes 5 minutes to knock that one off!

Dont Panic - it's an Economic Downturn!

It is easy to get caught up in the panic and fear that is running rampant through the media about the economic crisis. After all, heads of countries are meeting to discuss....... It's the worst downturn in.......... But there are ways to avoid the hype, and steer clear of the panicking stampede.
Take 3 steps to stop worrying about the economic downturn.
1.Face/name your fear.
2.Take action.
3.Have a back up plan.
ONE. Here is what you do. Read full article.