Monday, April 27, 2009

Exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I should be doing.

Yesterday I tired my children out by taking them on 4 trains and two ferries, played for hours at the huge play area at Darling Harbour, and splashed a lot in the numerous water features there. My daughter fell asleep on the way home in the car (she had arisen at 5am that morning, after all) and could not be roused. My son and I stayed up playing Wii and watching rubbish television, too tired to achieve much else. He went to bed at 830pm. Although my eyes were ready for bed, I couldn't resist wanting my last cup of tea, and watching one show, just for me.......Then my daughter woke up, and Playschool came on, and that is what I got to watch before bed. I pulled the words out I had been saying for the last few days to myself - I am exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
Anyone will tell you I am a very busy person, with always something to do, and be occupied with. In fact, the one clairvoyant I have ever seen told me, that I am not a person who wastes a moment. There is nowhere that I go that I don't take something with me to read, or do while I wait. This, of course, translates to IMPATIENCE. However, as I say, the above words have been soothing me as I hung with the kids over the holidays. Whenever something came in to my mind that I could be doing, or watching or reading, or writing, I just reminded myself that here, with my children, hearing, seeing, being with them, was what I am supposed to be busy doing.
Where did this come from? Eckhart Tolle. I was listening to one of his recordings, where he explained how people waste their time wanting to be in moments that do not exist yet, in the future, instead of being in the present moment. And when that future moment actually happens, they are not present then, either, as they are already looking out toward the next moments. Eckhart Tolle used the example of taking a drink of water, which he supposedly did in front of his unseen audience. He said, that even as many take up the glass to drink, they are looking ahead to having drunk, as they drink, they are looking toward the moment when they replace the glass on the table. This gives a person a constant feeling of disastifaction as they are NEVER experiencing what they want, as it always lies in the future. Tolle suggested that what we are doing THIS MOMENT is what we are supposed to be doing, nothing in the future, nothing other than just this. And it even works for me, who is always thinking of ways to do more. Yesterday I lay in the sun, as my children played, and thought, this is exactly where I am supposed to be, doing exactly this, and enjoyed it.
For more on resistance see this previous post.

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