So - I'm crying. I've just blown up at Samantha, I'm crashing around the house, and thinking this is just IMPOSSIBLE!
I was given a book about meditation - I have several, but this one has pretty pictures - after putting out a question for meditation direction. The book has inspired me. I have meditated for the past three days morning and night. I am thinking, yesterday I was able to stay more present, and conscious. I'm feeling good!
Then Sam gets up, moaning and groaning, growling and grizzling (yes - my sunshine child!) This is the second time she is doing this 'stage'. I try to stay patient and calm - more moans, and grizzles and foot stamps. Then I loose it. And now I write it - I see. Her pain body wants and needs my pain body, and I have graciously given it to her.
I have a friend who says, let's get Eckhart Tolle down here to take care of the kids, and we'll go up the mountain for a few days. Let's see how peaceful and calm he is when we get back!
I think parenting can be really hard.
Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mummmmmm!!!! How on earth are you supposed to stay present?
All you can do is let the past misdemeanours go, and get on the horse again.
If I EVER get to a point where I can always stay present and calm during the kids drama I will KNOW I have reached enlightenment. But then, I wont even be excited about it, will I?! I'll be too enlightened to allow my ego to gloat.
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Ah, Paula, i hear you! I find myself in the same situation with my two kids and later feeling sad that i was unable to stay present. What has helped me lately is that i now use my own irriation during an interaction with the kids as the trigger/reminder to bring myself into the present. The more i dive right into what is happening right now and not resist it (by wanting to be relaxing on the sofa instead), the easier i find it to resolve.... Having said that it is not always succesful! but it's a process. Blessings to you.
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