So - I'm crying. I've just blown up at Samantha, I'm crashing around the house, and thinking this is just IMPOSSIBLE!
I was given a book about meditation - I have several, but this one has pretty pictures - after putting out a question for meditation direction. The book has inspired me. I have meditated for the past three days morning and night. I am thinking, yesterday I was able to stay more present, and conscious. I'm feeling good!
Then Sam gets up, moaning and groaning, growling and grizzling (yes - my sunshine child!) This is the second time she is doing this 'stage'. I try to stay patient and calm - more moans, and grizzles and foot stamps. Then I loose it. And now I write it - I see. Her pain body wants and needs my pain body, and I have graciously given it to her.
I have a friend who says, let's get Eckhart Tolle down here to take care of the kids, and we'll go up the mountain for a few days. Let's see how peaceful and calm he is when we get back!
I think parenting can be really hard.
Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mummmmmm!!!! How on earth are you supposed to stay present?
All you can do is let the past misdemeanours go, and get on the horse again.
If I EVER get to a point where I can always stay present and calm during the kids drama I will KNOW I have reached enlightenment. But then, I wont even be excited about it, will I?! I'll be too enlightened to allow my ego to gloat.
Showing posts with label ego. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ego. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Christianity and The Power of Now 4
Another entry by our guest blogger, Brad Harris.
The next Bible verse quoted by Eckhart Tolle in ‘A New Earth’ is from the gospel of Matthew. It records Jesus as saying:
‘ if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well’. Matthew 5:40
This seems a simple piece of advice but the implications of it are enormous. It goes far beyond not taking people to court to rectify disputes. My understanding of what Jesus was saying used to be that, in order to please God I needed to discipline myself to always put
others’ needs first. This in itself is surely not wrong. Who could question the need to be considerate of the needs of others in every thing we do. Our actions, if based only on selfishness and self-satisfaction are inevitably going to cause harm to others - either directly or indirectly.
In taking this view of Jesus’ teaching I came to think that I didn’t deserve success or wealth and that I shouldn’t even expect happiness. In fact my life always had to take second place to others. I felt that my life should be dedicated to constantly giving in to the will of others. I began to devalue my own life! And what’s more, other people began to take advantage of my ‘good nature’ and I became somewhat of a ‘door mat’.
In ‘A New Earth’ Eckhart Tolle records his conversation with a dying women. He tells her “Whatever the ego seeks and gets attached to are substitutes for the Being it can not feel. You can value and care for things, but whenever you get attached to them, you will know it’s the ego. And you are never really attached to a thing but to a thought that has ‘I’, ‘me’, or ‘mine’ in it. Whenever you completely accept a loss, you go beyond ego, and who you are, the I Am which is consciousness itself, emerges”.
The women replied, “Now I understand something Jesus said that never made much sense to me before: ‘If someone takes your shirt, let him have your coat as well.’”
Tolle replied “That’s right. It doesn’t mean that you should never lock your door. All it means is that sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on”. (p. 41)
When I can understand that ‘my’ coat (or anything else that I call mine) is not really mine in the first place, I can’t feel hard done by at having to give it to someone else. I go with the flow of life more easily by accepting what comes and accepting what passes. Every moment, no matter how it appears on the surface is a blessing from God and I rejoice in it. It’s not a matter of taking second place to everyone else. It is a sacred realization that everyone and everything has equal value in God’s eyes. We are all a part of His creation and in ‘letting go’ we get more than we could ever realize. Amazing!
The next Bible verse quoted by Eckhart Tolle in ‘A New Earth’ is from the gospel of Matthew. It records Jesus as saying:
‘ if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well’. Matthew 5:40
This seems a simple piece of advice but the implications of it are enormous. It goes far beyond not taking people to court to rectify disputes. My understanding of what Jesus was saying used to be that, in order to please God I needed to discipline myself to always put
others’ needs first. This in itself is surely not wrong. Who could question the need to be considerate of the needs of others in every thing we do. Our actions, if based only on selfishness and self-satisfaction are inevitably going to cause harm to others - either directly or indirectly.
In taking this view of Jesus’ teaching I came to think that I didn’t deserve success or wealth and that I shouldn’t even expect happiness. In fact my life always had to take second place to others. I felt that my life should be dedicated to constantly giving in to the will of others. I began to devalue my own life! And what’s more, other people began to take advantage of my ‘good nature’ and I became somewhat of a ‘door mat’.
In ‘A New Earth’ Eckhart Tolle records his conversation with a dying women. He tells her “Whatever the ego seeks and gets attached to are substitutes for the Being it can not feel. You can value and care for things, but whenever you get attached to them, you will know it’s the ego. And you are never really attached to a thing but to a thought that has ‘I’, ‘me’, or ‘mine’ in it. Whenever you completely accept a loss, you go beyond ego, and who you are, the I Am which is consciousness itself, emerges”.
The women replied, “Now I understand something Jesus said that never made much sense to me before: ‘If someone takes your shirt, let him have your coat as well.’”
Tolle replied “That’s right. It doesn’t mean that you should never lock your door. All it means is that sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on”. (p. 41)
When I can understand that ‘my’ coat (or anything else that I call mine) is not really mine in the first place, I can’t feel hard done by at having to give it to someone else. I go with the flow of life more easily by accepting what comes and accepting what passes. Every moment, no matter how it appears on the surface is a blessing from God and I rejoice in it. It’s not a matter of taking second place to everyone else. It is a sacred realization that everyone and everything has equal value in God’s eyes. We are all a part of His creation and in ‘letting go’ we get more than we could ever realize. Amazing!
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Gruen Transfer - Advertising
You may or not have seen a very successful show on the ABC called The Gruen Transfer. It is a 30 minute show devoted entirely to looking at advertising, most specifically television advertising. It is a fascinating insight into a world of attention grabbing, what triggers our interest and desires, and how that can be manipulated. It also looks occasionally at how advertising has developed, and in some cases become very sophisticated.
I was made aware of the power of advertising when I watched a history program many years ago. The program spoke about the problems that many western countries faced after the Second World War. Much industry was in place to develop and produce weapons and ammunition, which were no longer required. This industry began to create and produce items such as fridges and washing machines. However, after many years of conservative spending and economy that was the result of the dread years of the Depression, no one would buy the new products. They were considered luxury and non essential to the spend thrift population.
Something was required to change the habits and thoughts of the populace, so the would buy. In order to keep money moving, industry producing and workers employed, people had to buy what they did not believe they needed. Then began a new phase in the advertising realm (used most effectively during the war years as propaganda) to create a desire in consumers that they did not have. The campaign was "You deserve it."
And consumers believed it and changed their spending habits to prove it. They agreed they had suffered many years of hardship, and want, and making do. They believed it was time to reward themselves. Then they bought a new washer, although the old one worked well enough, but was not as shiny.
I was astounded that this consumer desire that most of us have suffered has been a manipulation from the beginning. Not only does it continue on - only becoming more subtle, sophisticated, invasive and expensive - but it's still necessary to the continued function of this world system. In reality, the people of the past may very well have deserved some luxury after years of saving, and re-using, and making do. But I am not sure how the argument goes nowadays. Never-the-less, advertising still manages to make us feel we deserve to up-grade.
This advertising world encourages us to be dissatisfied with what we have, to want more, better, bigger, brighter. Advertising and its role in our world perpetuates suffering in our human phychi. Rather than an attitude of gratitude for all we have, and the beauty of our world, we are encouraged to be dissatisfied with how we live. Rather than bringing our minds into the Now, advertising is there to remind us to strive for more, make more money so we can buy more. Advertising,therefore, takes our thoughts directly into the future. And instead of allowing our ego to subside, we have advertising to trigger everything our ego's feed on - envy, desire, greed, dissatisfaction, and criticism.
What can we do? Personally, we can understand, and recognise the mechanics of advertising - recognise the deception and manipulation there in. Remain conscious. Practice gratitude everyday. Question what we NEED. Fast forward the ads.
I was made aware of the power of advertising when I watched a history program many years ago. The program spoke about the problems that many western countries faced after the Second World War. Much industry was in place to develop and produce weapons and ammunition, which were no longer required. This industry began to create and produce items such as fridges and washing machines. However, after many years of conservative spending and economy that was the result of the dread years of the Depression, no one would buy the new products. They were considered luxury and non essential to the spend thrift population.
Something was required to change the habits and thoughts of the populace, so the would buy. In order to keep money moving, industry producing and workers employed, people had to buy what they did not believe they needed. Then began a new phase in the advertising realm (used most effectively during the war years as propaganda) to create a desire in consumers that they did not have. The campaign was "You deserve it."
And consumers believed it and changed their spending habits to prove it. They agreed they had suffered many years of hardship, and want, and making do. They believed it was time to reward themselves. Then they bought a new washer, although the old one worked well enough, but was not as shiny.
I was astounded that this consumer desire that most of us have suffered has been a manipulation from the beginning. Not only does it continue on - only becoming more subtle, sophisticated, invasive and expensive - but it's still necessary to the continued function of this world system. In reality, the people of the past may very well have deserved some luxury after years of saving, and re-using, and making do. But I am not sure how the argument goes nowadays. Never-the-less, advertising still manages to make us feel we deserve to up-grade.
This advertising world encourages us to be dissatisfied with what we have, to want more, better, bigger, brighter. Advertising and its role in our world perpetuates suffering in our human phychi. Rather than an attitude of gratitude for all we have, and the beauty of our world, we are encouraged to be dissatisfied with how we live. Rather than bringing our minds into the Now, advertising is there to remind us to strive for more, make more money so we can buy more. Advertising,therefore, takes our thoughts directly into the future. And instead of allowing our ego to subside, we have advertising to trigger everything our ego's feed on - envy, desire, greed, dissatisfaction, and criticism.
What can we do? Personally, we can understand, and recognise the mechanics of advertising - recognise the deception and manipulation there in. Remain conscious. Practice gratitude everyday. Question what we NEED. Fast forward the ads.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Surrender
Eckhart Tolle has several themes that run constantly through his teachings. To reach our spiritual selves we need to overcome the ego, which includes the story of "me". We need to leave behind ideas of past and future. We need to recognise the emptiness and meaninglessness of deriving pleasure from objects.
I have come to understand that being part of the natural peace and joy within each of us, we must be prepared to surrender all we know, all we believe about ourselves and the world. By being prepared to surrender all this, we can access the inner peace, and stillness that Eckhart Tolle is pointing toward.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Divorce With No Bridge.
I once read that there is a certain connection between two people who have had a difficult relationship together. Like they are the survivors of a train crash, that only they know what it was like to experience. And that may be true for some, but for others it is more like two people in the same train crash having entirely different experiences of that same event. I have no doubt my ex husbands' view of our demise and then divorce is very different to mine. Not more or less closer to the truth, or better or worse experiences, just different.
It is as a result of our different perspectives that I could really relate to Elizabeth Gilbert's comments in her book Eat, Pray, Love.. She speaks about the lack of closure that is often felt after divorce. The feeling that there can never be forgiveness, that there is another person in the world who thinks so badly of you, and you will never get them to understand your perspective. An unresolved case, a nagging, gaping space that you can't bridge.
Elizabeth holds a ceremony, suggested by a friend, to try to remedy this open wound in her life. Ultimately she imagines the two higher beings - the purer soles - of herself and ex husband meeting on a higher plane to create peace, understanding, forgiveness and love between them. From then on, when she becomes conscious again of the difference in views between herself and her ex husband, she send their higher spirits up to sort it out, and releases the sadness.
Held back by our baggage, negative ideas and thoughts, and ego centred expectations, sometimes it's just not possible to get the closure to a relationship we need. It can help to know that other people experience this feeling of grief, and that there are some ways to get past it.
Take this link to try a Positive Change ceremony, and see how powerful a ceremony can be in releasing old negativity, and creating new positive energy. Or check out The Spiritual Journey Guide for Single Mothers if you want to find out how to be a happier as a solo parent. Want to know some good reasons to meditate?
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Ego, and the Four Noble Truths.
After spending a bit of time with Elizabeth Gilbert's idea of ego in her book Eat, Pray, Love I began to feel a little niggle about just how many other ways my ego was holding me back. My “I” was demanding my attention during meditation, as it did for Elizabeth and so many others. EVERYONE knows meditation is good for you – so if my “I”, my ego was trying to distract me, then it was not working in my best interests. I began to wonder if my ego was not to be trusted.
Something in my growing distrust of my ego took me back to my “Buddhism for Dummies” book. Obviously not my first bump with Buddhism! I reread the section on The Four Noble Truths, which is a corner stone of this belief systm. Buddha said:
1.There is suffering (that is, we do suffer unhappiness and sadness in our lives. The sadness of having and loosing, the sadness of not having, sadness of disappointment – really, it is just everywhere, and Buddha wanted us to face up to it!)
2.Our desirous thoughts are the cause of all our suffering. Buddha believes that it is the things we desire, what we want to control, hold, keep, and our attachment to things and people that is the reason we suffer.
3.There can be an end to our suffering (That is good news – finally!) All we have to do is stop wanting things, and trying to control things, and we will no longer suffer.
4.The way to Nirvana (absolute peace) is through living the way of the Eight Fold Path. This consists of 8 perfect ways to live, which of course includes right thinking.
What I get from the Four Noble Truths is this. The ego IS our desirous thoughts. It is the source of our wanting. Also it is the idea of owning, holding and keeping, which is all about “mine”. If I could stop my ego from wanting, and holding, and calling things MINE, I would suffer less. That is right thinking, and puts me on the path to Nirvana!
Once again I find my Ego is not really serving me, my trust levels have lowered again. I will find out more!
What are your thoughts?
If you would like to know some good reasons to meditate take this link to another related post. Or if you are thinking of trying meditation, you may want to look into Open Eyed Meditation as a jumping off point!
Something in my growing distrust of my ego took me back to my “Buddhism for Dummies” book. Obviously not my first bump with Buddhism! I reread the section on The Four Noble Truths, which is a corner stone of this belief systm. Buddha said:
1.There is suffering (that is, we do suffer unhappiness and sadness in our lives. The sadness of having and loosing, the sadness of not having, sadness of disappointment – really, it is just everywhere, and Buddha wanted us to face up to it!)
2.Our desirous thoughts are the cause of all our suffering. Buddha believes that it is the things we desire, what we want to control, hold, keep, and our attachment to things and people that is the reason we suffer.
3.There can be an end to our suffering (That is good news – finally!) All we have to do is stop wanting things, and trying to control things, and we will no longer suffer.
4.The way to Nirvana (absolute peace) is through living the way of the Eight Fold Path. This consists of 8 perfect ways to live, which of course includes right thinking.
What I get from the Four Noble Truths is this. The ego IS our desirous thoughts. It is the source of our wanting. Also it is the idea of owning, holding and keeping, which is all about “mine”. If I could stop my ego from wanting, and holding, and calling things MINE, I would suffer less. That is right thinking, and puts me on the path to Nirvana!
Once again I find my Ego is not really serving me, my trust levels have lowered again. I will find out more!
What are your thoughts?
If you would like to know some good reasons to meditate take this link to another related post. Or if you are thinking of trying meditation, you may want to look into Open Eyed Meditation as a jumping off point!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Meditation, the Ego, and a Great Book
It has been a year of fabulous things coming my way, that seem to arrive in just the right order, and at just the right time. That's when I picked up the best seller book, “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. It is a persoanl account of one womans decision to take control of her life, and the year of self discovery that ensues.
I loved it – not least because the book starts out at Elizabeth's divorce – and found plenty to be inspired by. But, there is one concept that has had a huge influence on my thoughts since, and that is when she speaks about the ego, the “I”.
Elizabeth goes to India for four months to practice meditation; yet even in this most perfect environment she struggles to still her mind. She is given the advise that the constant demand on her thoughts is her ego. That the ego ( the “I”) is always looking to hold power, but that its domination over us actuallly holds us back from becoming whole. Liz was directed to distract the ego with love, in the heart.
So the next time I meditated I tried this. When my ego came up with distratction I gently sent my “I” down to my heart, with love, to wait for me. All was calm and quiet.
It was almost a relief to stop the “I” thoughts. And so much of the chattering mind is in the “I” context. I want, I need, I must, I ought, I hate, I never, I can't I love, I think, I wish, I will, I wont. All pronounced with such force and urgency that it's easy to feel it must be listened to, that it is important. But the ego can be subdued, allowing the peace of just being to occur. The perfect state to meditate!
Please leave a comment if you have read the book, or have some ideas on Ego.
The Spritual Journey Guide for Single Mothers.
Check this out if you want to get through, recover, and get past Divorce, and become happy. You also may be interested in some further reasons to meditate, or starting meditation with a really easy product.
I loved it – not least because the book starts out at Elizabeth's divorce – and found plenty to be inspired by. But, there is one concept that has had a huge influence on my thoughts since, and that is when she speaks about the ego, the “I”.
Elizabeth goes to India for four months to practice meditation; yet even in this most perfect environment she struggles to still her mind. She is given the advise that the constant demand on her thoughts is her ego. That the ego ( the “I”) is always looking to hold power, but that its domination over us actuallly holds us back from becoming whole. Liz was directed to distract the ego with love, in the heart.
So the next time I meditated I tried this. When my ego came up with distratction I gently sent my “I” down to my heart, with love, to wait for me. All was calm and quiet.
It was almost a relief to stop the “I” thoughts. And so much of the chattering mind is in the “I” context. I want, I need, I must, I ought, I hate, I never, I can't I love, I think, I wish, I will, I wont. All pronounced with such force and urgency that it's easy to feel it must be listened to, that it is important. But the ego can be subdued, allowing the peace of just being to occur. The perfect state to meditate!
Please leave a comment if you have read the book, or have some ideas on Ego.
The Spritual Journey Guide for Single Mothers.
Check this out if you want to get through, recover, and get past Divorce, and become happy. You also may be interested in some further reasons to meditate, or starting meditation with a really easy product.
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