Sunday, June 6, 2010

Fantasy Future

I have always been big on planning. Mapping out the path to success, riches, secruity, grand holidays and different lifestyles. Ideas of excitment and change and growth. I have always been prepared to work toward them, motivated by the end goal.

This has kept my head, and thoughts, firmly in the future.

So, when Eckhart Tolle says to remain present, have your thoughts only in the Now, or rather, don't think, just BE in the Now - I can struggle. In fact, it can seem a little dull, to be HERE, rather than in the exciting future.

However, it is becoming more and more difficult to avoid noticing that that shiney future isn't getting any closer. I strive toward it, but it is not making it actually materialise. Which means, the wonderful future I keep my eye on is in reality just a fantasy land - or might as well be. Like constantly reading an engrossing book, or being really envolved in a movie THAT NEVER ENDS, fantasy future land isn't real and is a distraction from experiencing what IS real. Do I want to keep living like that?

While my head is in fantasy future land, what am I telling myself about Now? As I strive toward more, better, greater, freer, I am feeding the concept that what I have Now is not enough - not good enough, special enough, free enough. It's easy to see the problem with that. (And is most likely why fanstasy future never comes true.)

The ironic part is, that with a reminder from Eckhart Tolle, when I look at Now, it is really fine, sometimes wonderful. So, why all the struggle to get away from the reality of Now?

Fantasy land has been part of my journey. It has kept me positive when I could have been down. It has kept me motivated and energetic when I might otherwise have stagnated. It has given me hope when I might have accepted defeat. But I think fantasy future land needs to be over for me Now.

Fantasy future land has served it's purpose, and in many ways has lead me to spirituality. The striving, running, onward and upward has been the freeway part of my journey, but I see a sign post, and have slowed down enough to read it.

I have decided to take a new road and get off the bypass.

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